5 years of living in LA will do a lot to a person. From my experiences here I have had some good, some bad, sad and a ton of good memories. When I moved here 5 years ago I pictured myself now in a completely different way. One of my goals was to be a working actress in TV/Film and to be a well known blogger. Which I have yet to achieve either.
I'm not mad nor am I giving up on that dream. It's just funny how much time went by and how so much has changed. I felt like I was so grown up finally moving into a city I dreamed about for so long with my boyfriend. Within one year of living in LA I had lost my job, became Christian, and moved back in with my mom in LA who thankfully got a job offer in LA within 2 months of me losing my job. God works in funny ways and even though year one seemed to take a completely different turn I wasn't mad.
I learned a lot about myself within the last five years. I learned that in life it's okay to slow down, it's okay to not feel okay and also that sometimes not everyone in your life stays long term. I also learned that it's good to try new things and to get yourself out there. If you would of told me before I moved to LA that I would be involved in a church I wouldn't believe you. My faith has been a huge part of my life since I started living here and I am thankful that God opened up my heart to him. My church community has been a blessing and I am very thankful that I even got to reunite with an old friend there.
As far as acting goes; I am currently working on updating my headshots, uploading new monologues, working on writing and completing my passion project this year. I feel like I wasted some time not working on my goals/dreams over the last 5 years but I feel like it was supposed to be this way. I feel like I've developed thicker skin and a new view on how to approach my goals. I am extremely thankful to be able to still be out here pursuing my dreams and hope to make some major moves this year. I think God for this opportunity and to my family/friends for their support too.
My first year in LA posing by the famous Samuel French which has recently closed. I'm so sad it's gone it's been a huge part of my acting journey since I started acting. 2nd Year in LA at LACMA2015 working on a web series I co-created, co wrote and starred in. It was an amazing experience to create my own content and bring it to life. My 3rd Year in LA with friends in El Compadre for my Birthday.This was one of my favorite memories ever! I got to visit the set of TEEN WOLF while they were filming their last season. Here's a pic with Stiles' famous jeep from the show. 10.2.16 the day we got engaged in MalibuIn 2017, I completed 3 levels at Second City in Hollywood and I can't explain how much fun I had here! I have never laughed so much in my life watching shows and doing improv in class. Took time off to focus on my wedding. 10.21.17 we got married! I still want to do a blog about our special day! Maybe on our two year anniversary! Did a few Cinespia nights in 2018! This is by far one of my favorite things in LA to do!Saturday morning hikes at Fryman My birthday brunch at Mama Shelter is still one of my favorite birthdays thus far!My little family <33.21.19 took new headshots!Read more
2018 was such an exceptional year for me. I felt like this year I really focused on things that made me happy. Having depression and anxiety can be so frustrating. It feels like sometimes things aren't going to get better or when you finally start to feel good anxiety has a different plans for you. I'm not trying to seek pity at all but more so give you an idea of how my mind constantly is. With having both I find it extremely important to me to try and appreciate the things that are happening or that I have.
One thing I learned this year is to not sweat the small stuff. I am the type of person to freak out quick if something is going wrong. Although, I still catch myself doing that at times I like to think of each situation as always having a resolution. Which is the truth when you think about it. Worrying only wastes time and time is of the essence. Thinking this way allows me to focus clearly so that I know what to do next.
Don't be lazy!! Always do your best and make time for the things that you love. Chances are someone out there is doing what you love and they're getting it done while you're watching Netflix. It can wait your future can't! I found when I picked up my camera whether it be filming YouTube or taking photos I found myself the happiest. I love art and having a creative gene is a terrible thing to waste so I am making it goal in 2019 to make as much content as possible.
When things get chaotic go for a hike or a walk outside. There is nothing like getting fresh air and seeing God's creation to remind you of the beauty of life. It really resets you and is a reminder of that there is such much more to life and to enjoy the life God has given us. Plus you can go outside for free and away from your phone which I think we can all use a break from.
It's been on my mind lately how paying attention to time isn't always a good thing. Now I'm a firm believer in if you want something you'll make it happen. It's so crazy how sometimes we get in our own way when we're capable of so much more. Also one thing that I'm sure everyone's guilty of is comparing yourself to other people. With so much social media at our fingertips and more social media apps coming up it's easy to doubt yourself. I've always thought of our generation as having our own "TV SHOWS" Just think about it everyone's on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc. We always know what everyone's up to these days or at least we show people what we want to see. When in reality we may really be at home snacking on chips, texting, doing whatever while you're watching netflix. Now there is NOTHING wrong with that I repeat nothing!! It's just I feel like sometimes we create these illusions and we lose sight of ourselves.
I've felt like I've been falling into this trap of feeling like I'm not good enough lately and I'm not afraid to admit it. I've always been hard on myself and with my birthday in December creeping up on me I've felt like I've yet to accomplish all my goals this year. That is until one thing crossed my mind.
You really are never too old to accomplish a goal! Also the more time spent on worrying about things is the less time you have moving towards a goal. It's all so simple and yet it seems so hard. I guess it's hard not to get a little jealous when it seems like everyone's accomplishing milestones and yet I can't even figure out what I'm going to eat for dinner (Am I alone on this one, anybody?). So it got me researching on how to be more successful and these are the points that stood out to me that I wanted to share.
Celebrate your own accomplishments and celebrate others. We often forget that even just making little steps can count towards our goal. Think about what you've accomplished and give thanks to yourself! (Just don't get cocky!)
Count your blessings. Just looking at what you're thankful can immediately brighten up your mood.
On the Woody Show they had a segment regarding job making cuts. Well let's fast forward to the part that stood out to me. Woody said, "What would you grade yourself as worker?" That hit me because that's something I definitely need to put into perspective. I feel like that is something that will help me get back on track because sometimes we think we deserve more when in reality we need to check if we even do deserve it.
Happiness is a choice. One of my friends always tells me this when I'm down and it is so true. You really do have to choose to be happy and you'll eventually believe it.
STOP saying there is no time! It's true because we really do make times for things that are more urgent or enjoyable. Fall in love with your career/passion again and make the time! I promise you that you'll be more thankful for the time you put in than the time you wasted.
Hope this helps anyone feeling the same! Also I leave you with the below quote. Because come on it's fun to be mysterious and not let people's opinions get in the way either!
Travel and tell no one, live a true love story and tell no one, live happily and tell no one, people ruin beautiful things.
